I can be anything in the universe but myself?
by anglez3000
Summary: After being bitten by her rabid voodoo doll with wings,Blythe Cornelius just dismisses the pain and attends Hogwarts with high hopes of having a regular school year.What's a normal school year when attending Hogwarts with a multiple personality hybrid?
1. Three minds, one body

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter I just own Blythe Cornelius!**

**Intro again**:After being bitten by her rabid voodoo doll with wings, Blythe Cornelius just dismisses the pain and attends Hogwarts with high hopes of having a regular school year. But what's a regular school year when attending Hogwarts with a hybrid that has multiple personalities?

P.S.: (The words in **bold** is one voice and the words in _italics_ is another voice in Blythe's head)

I still can't believe the fact that I'm actually going to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry! Home schooling was beneficial when I was eight, but I'm sixteen now and my parents think I should be socializing with people my age. I know that I'm five years late, but my pureblood mom taught me the same curriculum the kids were learning from the first year to the seventh year since she knew somebody from the inside.

_I...errr...wish that I will fit in!_

**No...just don't give a flying fuck about what people have to say about me...**

_That will work just fine if I don't want any friends..._

**You know what fuck friends...yeah!**

_But then who will I talk with at lunch?_

**Fuck them, being an individual is the way to go! Conscience can I get a testimony please?**

Silence engulfed my head.

**Fuck you conscience, you are a worthless piece of space.**

"Blythe, are you almost ready to go?" My mom said, walking through my bedroom's doorframe. "Stop playing with your doll and put your school robe on so I can take a picture of you before you leave." My mom said, waving a her wand.

I immediately put my brown voodoo doll with white stitches on the wooden floor and slipped on my new black robe. I paused to catch my reflection looking back at me in the handheld mirror my mom was holding. A pair of enticing grey almond shaped eyes sat under a pair of thick black rimmed glasses; three silver vertical bridge piercings glistened in the brightly lit room. A mane of spiky black hair with blonde streaks touched my clothed shoulders and a few strands grazed my chapped lips. My small nose twitched with anticipation as my mom caressed my left cheek.

"How are the magnets holding up?" My mom said, poking my middle vertical bridge piercing.

"They've never been better." I said, bouncing on the balls of my feet.

"Good, we want that metal plate to stay in place." My mom said, grinning. "Remember that I'm just one owl away from you and one heartbeat away from kicking someone's ass." My mom said, holding the mirror in front of both of us. "One the count of three say,'Cornelius!'"

"One. Two. Three. Cornelius!" My mom and I shouted at the same time as the mirror took our picture.

"Meet me in the living room in three minutes or we'll miss the next ferry to the train station!" My mom said, skipping out of my room.

"Well I guess this is goodbye." I said, addressing the pile of stuff animals on my bed. "Please take care of yourselves and try not to start another revolt without my consent." I said, before opening my closet. A long arm made of burlap reached out and grabbed my waist. I looked up to see my first voodoo doll. She was the most beautiful thing to me even though she was stained and had one button eye.

I learned into her embrace and her long black feathered wings covered both of us. After thirty seconds passed I wiggled out of her grasp and held her hands. "You better not fucking forget me." I said, trying to hold back tears. "I have my own surveillance team, you know?" I said, smirking.

"How can I forget myself, that would be pretty foolish." The voodoo doll said, displaying a row of jagged teeth where its stitched mouth should of been.

Before I could say anything, the doll bit my hand.

**I felt...**

_I felt nothing... _

How am I suppose to feel something that I never had? I thought.

**It's a thing called 'artificial devotion'. **

_That's why you have the both of us!_


	2. Still in Clouds

"Don't worry sister I'll take extra good care of my one and only niece." Hagrid, my humongous uncle, said as he shoved my trunk into the back of his flying car. "Boy do I miss my motorcycle."

"Think of this as an improvement, Rubeus." My mother said, patting my uncle on the back. "Are you sure you want to do this?" My mother said, giving me one final lung constricting hug. "The curse may flair up."

"That's the whole plan mommy. Besides tolerance is what Headmaster Dumbledore ordered." I said, giving my mom an assuring smirk."

She'll make history, Marge don't you fret." Uncle Hagrid said, grinning."

Send me an owl as soon you two get settled in." Marge said, laughing."I'll call you when I get settled in mom." I said, shaking my numbing right arm.

"That's even better!" My mom said, running a hand through her hair. "Ah fuck my phone bills are going to be through the roof with roaming charges."

"I'll be quick!" I said, involuntary thrusting my right fist in the air as my mom disappeared into thin air.

"Well lets get a move on, I don't know what the traffic is going to look like." Uncle Hagrid said sliding into the driver seat.

I slid into the camp car and buckled my passenger seatbelt.

"I'm a little rusty when it comes to cars, but I can assure you that we're not going to die." Uncle Hagrid said, starting up the engine.

"Uh..er...thank you?" I said, shaking my now numb right arm.

A few hours and too many showtunes later a familiar chill crept up my spine. I felt an excruciating pain rip through my back so I slipped off my school robe to flew my back. As I arched my back Uncle Hagrid yelped. I turned to see a long black wing poking my uncle in the neck.

_Fuck...not already!_

As I adjusted myself in my uncomfortable seat I felt my black scaly tail whip restlessly against my legs.

"Uncle, how long will it be until we get to Hogwarts." I said, grabbing the passenger side door handle.

"About thirty minutes." Uncle Hagrid said, glancing at me in the side view mirror. "Go for it."

As the passenger door opened I leaped into the sky head first. After a twenty foot plummet to earth I spread out my two black wings.

"Care to buy a vowel, Uncle? Hangman's the game." I said, grazing my curved black horns with my hand.

"Name your price: Muggle candy or-"

"I'll go easy on you uncle; the price is Bertie Botts Beans!" I said, hovering over the car. "What version do you want to play with? Smoke or clouds?"

"Clouds."

"Clouds it is then!" I said, zooming past the car

_Maybe, this year won't be that bad!_


	3. Remember to breathe

"Fawkes!" I said, slowing my pace to thoroughly examine the red and orange blur that passed by only momentarily.

"He'll take you from here; you'll love the scenic route. Besides I have to park yeh..er... um this car before I can get to the first-years." Uncle Hagrid said, pulling on his beard. "I'm so close." Uncle Hagrid said, banging a fist on the steering wheel.

"Uncle, there's nothing wrong with the way you talk. Just wait until the day or even week of the dragon is over, I won't even know what the next creature will be until the next time wake up." I said, watching my fingers turn into sharp black claws. "Every time I look in the mirror it's laughing at me."

"Then laugh back even louder!" Uncle Hagrid bellowed, as he tossed a burlap pouch my way. "And you might as well have the energy to do it."

I opened the burlap pouch to find my favorite snacks of all time.

_Ginger candy drenched in maple syrup!_

**Gross, saltwater taffy all the way!**

_Caramelized apples!_

**Caramelized frog eyes, yum. **

_Your a sick fuck...Ooooh, Barbecued butterfly wings!_

**Your the one to talk! Plus, my pussy is not sick by the way! **

_Pussy denied._

**What was that?**

_Your pussy was denied._

**Well I didn't offer it to you. Besides, you can't handle the shit I do. **

_That's because I'm not doing anyone's shit. _

**Piss off. **

_You were peeing the whole way? _

**F-U-C-K-S-P-A-C-E-Y-O-U. **

_Hey, I do not fuck space. _

"Thank you uncle, I'll see you at the Sorting!" I said, before following Fawkes through the thick fog.

The sound of my wings flapping calmed my nerves, but when the fog started to thin the sight of students unloading by the bunch off the Hogwarts Express made my stomach churn.

" Remember to breathe." I told myself as I closed my eyes.

A light tap to my forehead made me open my eyes to Fawkes's giant brown eyes.

I leaned towards Fawkes to playfully knock my horns against his head, but as I proceeded to stick out my tongue blue flames jutted out of my mouth.

Fawkes retuned my awkward attempt of a friendly gesture by sticking his tongue at me before speeding up the pace.

Before I know it we were no longer flying in the sky, but soaring through the lengthy hallways of Hogwarts. We lazily maneuvered our way through the crowds of students who were dawning green, red, blue, and yellow robes.

Many students looked up in awe while the majority had shock written along their faces.

"Whoa, was that a dragon!"

"Why was it wearing a robe?"

"A new student, perhaps."

"Probably a potion gone bad."

"I wonder what house she's going to be in?"

"A dragon attending our school? Now that's preposterous."

"Don't get me started on your grades."

_You think you can throw me in this juncture_  
><strong>Well I'll tell you my heart just punctured<strong>  
><em>It is slowly deflating<em>  
><strong>But my heart rate is escalating<strong>  
><em>Feel like I'm playing a game of spades<em>  
><strong>Been living my life like rounds of charades<strong>  
><em>Treating me like a game of poker<em>  
><strong>Well you messed up because I'm the joker<strong>  
><em>I'll show you who is the superior<em>  
><strong>While I wink at the card dealer<strong>  
><em>Too much you keep on distorting<em>  
><strong>My heart is barley supporting<strong>  
><em>On fading elation<em>  
><strong>Tainted news and hesitation<strong>  
><em>All of you I see is static<em>  
><strong>Standing next to you is just traumatic<strong>  
><em>I'm real not a delusion<em>  
><strong>I'm real just like an illusion<strong>  
><em>So much for the confusion<em>  
><strong>Did you come up with a conclusion<strong>

"Yes and no, I guess..." I said, lifting my head a little higher.


	4. To Fly or Not to Fly

"It has been decades since Hogwarts has had its last student teacher until today. But never in the history of Hogwarts did we have a hybrid attend this school. I would like to welcome another addition to Hogwarts student body and staff. They will be assisting in Muggle Studies and Care of Magical Creatures." Dumbledore said as a giant white screen appeared behind him. "Back to Fawkes." Dumbledore said, sitting down as the picture of a hooded figure leaning against the railing on the Astronomy Tower, flickered to life on the screen.

"I can't believe I left my broomstick here last summer; I thought the termites got it." I said, dusting cobwebs off its grey bristles. "Fawkes take this with you; I want to have a flying start." I said, tossing Fawkes my broomstick.

The cold wind caressed the sweat dripping down my face as I looked down the Astronomy Tower one last time before hoisting myself on the railing. I shuffled my claws gingerly on the metal railing until my back faced Fawkes. Purposely leaning back without spreading my wings, I plummeted towards the ground with a half smirk on my face.

The air unbuttoned the buttons on my petticoat, releasing my black wings. The freezing air molested every single scale on my wings. A few more harsh strokes and my coat was yanked off, leaving my hoodie alone.

I curved my wings to ascend like a speeding bullet towards Fawkes. The moment I grabbed my broomstick from Fawkes and was seated my wings disintegrated into black ash.

Pulling my green Ipod from my trouser pockets I flipped through my playlists until I found one marked 'Presentation'.

Everyone's eyes were glued to the screen as the hooded figure released the broom from their grasp and plummeted towards the ground.

From out of nowhere a second hooded figure appeared, falling in sync with the first hooded figure.  
>Then both mysterious figures sprouted wings and hoods were pulled back.<p>

The first hooded figure gained back their black wings and had shoulder length black hair.

The second hooded figure had white wings and had shoulder length blonde hair.

Their faces weren't revealed because of Fawkes's angle position.

Dumbledore flicked his wand and the white screen disappeared. "Before we start the sorting we have a little presentation." Dumbledore shouted over the mumbles of his students and colleges. "Ms. Abbey, Mr. Archilles, Mr. Baxter, and Ms. Cornelius come forward."

The four students wiggled through the crowd of nervous first first years with their heads down, but their heads immediately snapped up when the soundtrack of Justin Timberlake's Sexy Back started playing.

As if they rehearsed for weeks, the four students began to strut in sync with the music.


	5. Hooty Hoot

"Ms. Abbey, Mr. Archilles, Mr. Baxter, and Ms. Cornelius you know the rules: 'No bondage until your target is disarmed. You may begin."

"Oppungo!" Ms. Abbey shouted, pointing her silver wand at Ms. Cornelius and Mr. Baxter. A flock of snapping gray birds sprayed from the tip of her wand.

"Evanesco!" Ms. Cornelius and Mr. Baxter shouted, pointing their wands at each other before vanishing into thin air.

"Where did they go?" Ms. Abbey said, shaking her shoulder length blonde hair as she looked left and right.

"I got this, how bout we have a Caterwauling Charm!" Mr. Baxter shouted, taping the tip of his wand on the ground. "When you hear a high pitched shriek you'll-

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!"

"It's coming from near the armored suits, Piertotum Locomotor!" Ms. Abbey said, causing the suits of armor to become animated.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhh!"

_Fuck I'm going to loose my voice if I get any closer, Ms. Cornelius thought as she watched the suits of armor run around. You only involuntarily scream when your in the perimeter of where the charm was set off at. Maybe I can throw them off course... Ready or not here banshee comes, Ms. Cornelius thought before breathing in deeply as she felt an all too familiar pull on her back._

"Ahhhhhhhhhh!" Ms. Cornelius shrieked voluntarily into the air over and over again as she hovered above to confuse the location of her and Mr. Baxter's wellbeing.

"Ahhhhhhhhhh!"

"Impedimenta!" Mr. Baxter shouted, causing some of the bumbling suits of armor to freeze, and get knocked across the room. "Imepdimenta!" Mr. Archilles and Ms. Abbey's wands were the next to go flying.

"Ahhhhhhhhhh! Descendo!" Mrs. Cornelius shouted, causing Ms. Abbey and Mr. Archilles to sink halfway into the floor. "And. Ahhhhhhhhhh, will be taking those." Ms. Cornelius said, taking their wands.

"Langlock!" Mr. Baxter shouted, pointed his toward at both Ms. Abbey and Mr. Archilles. "Okay?"

"Okay!" Ms. Cornelius said, watching her wings dematerialize.

"Time." Ms. Cornelius and Baxter said, reappearing.

"Deletrius!" Baxter said, making Ms. Abbey and Mr. Archilles rise up from the floor.

The four of them began to clap slow and then faster.

"Camp Ambrosia!" *clap-clap-clapclapclap* "Camp Ambrosia!" *clap-clap-clapclapclap*

"What did you say?" Dumbledore shouted, cupping his hands over his mouth.

"Camp Ambrosia!"

"I can't hear you!"

"Camp Ambrosia sir! Alternating days we're Muggles then witches, can't wait till summer to keep up with the switches!"

"By the looks of your confused faces allow my students to explain. Ms. Abbey would you like to begin?"

"Thank you headmaster. You see Hogwarts is a regular school through the fall, winter, and spring sessions. For the summer you go home, but us Camp Ambrosia campers move in for the summer. Students ranging from first-years to six-years go here. We aren't sorted into teams and we could pick our own room mates. One day we'll take witch courses like Potions, Defense Against the Dark Arts, Flying lessons, Herbology, Muggle Studies, Charms, Care of Magical Creatures, Transfiguration, and more. But the next day we'll be taking Muggle classes like chemistry, geometry, literacy, health, physical education, and more." Ms. Abbey said, tugging on her blonde ponytail. "And other than just Qudditch in the witch world, there are other sports like football, soccer, field hockey, ice hockey, baseball, basketball, racquetball, squash, rugby, swimming, roller skating, ice skating, skateboarding, fencing, boxing, wrestling, kickboxing and much more."

"We would like to show you a video montage of our days at Camp Ambrosia!" Mr. Archilles said, pointing to the tiled floor.

The tiles disappeared as black and white static took over its surface.

"My feet are bleeping killing me!"  
>"Come on guys you have only a few more yards to go!"<br>"Is really Quidditch worth it?"  
>"Yes."<br>"You really want to get that Beater's name, huh?"  
>"Well after that Buldger slammed into our classroom like a freight train because some Beater wanted to nonchalantly whack the ball in the school's direction. Which so coincidently was in the path of my jaw."<br>"Which you nonchalantly went off about."  
>"Okay maybe I overreacted."<br>"It involved four students-"  
>"Two administrative officials-"<br>"And a certain collar to keep you from bashing the Beater's brains out."  
>"Hey you got any better ideas?"<br>"First degree murder isn't one of them."  
>"I'm not intending on killing anyone I just have a motive."<br>"I'm keeping my eye on you."  
>"You wouldn't be the first!"<p>

"Oh my bob what happened during fifth period biology class? I heard it was complete chaos!"  
>"I heard that not a seat in Madam Pomfrey's infirmary was empty."<br>"Yeah, I heard Professor Yates and Professor Tierney were scrambling for trash cans for many students!"  
>"Oh, it was a madhouse! That day we were dissecting preserved frogs. We had to cut the whole frog open and then remove the organs. We were suppose to place the organs next their names on our frog anatomy group worksheet. Being in a class mixed with all years it was crazy. Some ran out of the room gagging. My group was fine though, but when I bent to pick up a fallen scalpel my nose collided with Hermione's elbow all hell broke loose. I'm prone to some serious nosebleeds so whoosh ! My nosebleed went all over our opened frog and that caused the first person to pass out."<br>"Yeah, students were dropping like flys. Our sixth period class was basically empty!"

" I can do it higher now!"  
>"Izzy stop it your going to make piss my pants!"<br>"Your killing me! Hahahahahaha."  
>"Oh, Merlin! I could still see Professor Cornelius accidentally kicking Professor Lupin!"<br>"That made my day!"  
>"Icepack in the most peculiar place, no?"<br>"We didn't do anything in class that day either."  
>"I even cringed when that happened and I'm a girl!"<br>"Hope you can still have kids Professor!"  
>The sound of chairs toppling and louder laughter filled the room.<p>

"I hope they like our dance."  
>"Who cares if they do or don't! All that matters is that we have fun!"<p>

"Mione, and Jojo are you ready to commence Operation: Wildin' Out?"  
>"Are you guys ready to set the traps up?"<br>"Did the twins have a fight during class?"  
>"Yes."<br>"And who was suppose to be on duty is the first victim."  
>"Let me get my mask I left it-"<br>"Don't worry about it we're Dumbledore approved!"  
>"Mask or not we won't get in trouble?"<br>"Trust me won't."  
>"Wait the twins had a fight in class! Was it physical?"<br>"Yeah, someone accidentally added too many newt eyes to their cauldron in Potion class and we had to test it. Every pair had to switch cauldrons to test the eye color changing concoction."  
>"Talk about a trust exercise."<br>"The twins both took a swig and the next thing I know they're throwing punches."  
>"There's no need for a Defense against the Dark Arts class if we could reconstruct that potion that made the twins go blind with fury. Who needs a wand to kick some ass?"<br>"Ha, you should of seen Jojo in fencing she's a beast in fencing."

As the floor's surface turned back to normal Ms. Abbey, Mr. Archilles, Mr. Baxter, and Ms. Cornelius began to chant again.

"Camp Ambrosia!" *clap-clap-clapclapclap* "Camp Ambrosia!" *clap-clap-clapclapclap*

"We'd like to give a Camp Ambrosia hoot to those who were there to deal with all the mischief in the air!" Mr. Archilles shouted.

"Madame Pomfrey!"  
>"Hoot ta hoot ta hooty hoot!"<br>"What can we say?"  
>"Professor Gallagher!"<br>"Hoot ta hoot ta hooty hoot!"  
>"Professor Lupin!"<br>"Hoot ta hoot ta hooty hoot!"  
>"Professor Cornelius!"<br>"Hoot ta hoot ta hooty hoot!"  
>"Professor Sinistra!"<br>"Hoot ta hoot ta hooty hoot!"  
>"Professor Barnes!"<br>"Hoot ta hoot ta hooty hoot!"  
>"Professor Cornell!<br>"Hoot ta hoot ta hooty hoot!"  
>"Professor Hawkins!<br>"Hoot ta hoot ta hooty hoot!"  
>"Professor Perry!<br>"Hoot ta hoot ta hooty hoot!"  
>"Professor Edwart!<br>"Hoot ta hoot ta hooty hoot!"  
>"Professor Morris!<br>"Hoot ta hoot ta hooty hoot!"  
>"Professor Finn!<br>"Hoot ta hoot ta hooty hoot!"  
>"Professor Tierney!<br>"Hoot ta hoot ta hooty hoot!"

Smoke suddenly covered the whole room. Ms. Abbey, Mr. Archilles, Mr. Baxter, and Ms. Cornelius disappeared, but twelve teenagers reappeared wearing a new getup. They dawned slick ponytails, short sleeved pinstripe vested shirts, ripped black jeans, yellow ties, one red and green sneaker, multicolored masks, and a black top hat.

Singing the rehearsed lyrics of Ke$ha's Take It Off, they all began to dance wildly. Every time the song instructed them to 'take it off' they discarded their own masks, but a new mask appeared right back on their faces.

"Camp Ambrosia!" *clap-clap-clapclapclap* "Camp Ambrosia!" *clap-clap-clapclapclap*  
>And all twelve teenagers disappeared into thin air when Dumbledore snapped his fingers.<p>

"Let the sorting begin." Dumbledore said, twisting his long white beard.


	6. Yellow to Black

(P.S. If you didn't notice I am not following the book lolz sorry not my type of thing)

Dumbledore and the Sorting Hat began to mow through the list of names of kids who needed to be sorted into teams. Applause erupted from tables of the house that gained the kid that was previously called.

"Caroline Abate."  
>"Gryffindor!"<br>"Evelyn Abbey."  
>"Hufflepuff!"<br>"Austin Abram."  
>"Gryffindor!"<br>"Odysseus Albertson.  
>"Gryffindor!"<br>"Pearl Amello.  
>"Ravenclaw!"<br>"Emmet Anderson."  
>"Gryffindor!"<br>"Myles Archilles."  
>"Ravenclaw!"<br>"Gwen Ayers."  
>"Hufflepuff!"<br>"Forrest Baxter."  
>"Gryffindor!"<br>"Kendall Bell  
>"Slytherin!"<br>"Vaughn Bloodworth."  
>"Slytherin!"<br>"Winston Bolivar."  
>"Ravenclaw!"<br>"Alabaster Brooke."  
>"Hufflepuff!"<br>"Jasper Burns."  
>"Slytherin<br>"Char Byrd."  
>"Hufflepuff!"<br>"Ebony Capello."  
>"Gryffindor!"<br>"Morison Carver."  
>"Slytherin!"<br>"Scarlet Chadwick."  
>"Slytherin!"<br>"Locke Cheshire.  
>"Hufflepuff!"<br>"Rogue Collins.  
>"Slytherin!"<br>"Blythe Cornelius."

While awkwardly wiggling my way through the gaggle of teeth-chattering first-years, I tried to keep my head held up high. My tunnel vision took over as I made my way towards the Sorting Hat.

Ms. Cornelius you are such a- (Sorting Hat)  
><strong>Do they even wash this hat? No offense. <strong>  
><em>I hope they do I don't want to have lice! <em>  
>A umm- (Sorting Hat)<br>**For once we actually agree on something. **  
><em>I think that calls for a celebration. <em>  
><strong>Don't overdo it<strong>  
><em>So your telling me that you don't want to treated to -<em>  
><strong>Well since you put it that way<strong>  
>"What I mean to say is that Ms. Cornelius is a..." (Sorting Hat)<br>_Are we playing a guessing game?_  
><strong>No dipstick we're being sorted into a team.<strong>  
>Yeah there's Slytherin, Hufflepuff, Gryffindor, and Ravenclaw<em>. (Sorting Hat)<em>  
><em>What da fuck is a Hufflepuff.<em>  
><strong>I have no fucking clue. <strong>  
><em>Wait, we're sorted into different teams! Hey guy up there do not put me in the same team with her.<em>  
><strong>We can't be sorted into two different teams dumbass. They would have to cut us in half.<strong>  
>"Interesting you are courageous.." (Sorting Hat)<br>**Meaning we have the balls aka audacity to- **  
><em>Are you implying the fact that I have male gentile?<em>  
><strong>I'm guessing you didn't hear the 'aka' part. <strong>  
><em>I have a pussy. Kitty cat goes meow! <em>  
><strong>I don't think your pussy is suppose to meow. <strong>  
><em>What sound is it suppose to make? Ribbit? Woof? Cluck? Squawk? Neigh? How about Pika, Pika! <em>  
><strong>No more Pokemon reruns for you.<strong>  
><em>Can it whistle? <em>  
><strong>Why are you asking me these questions?<strong>  
><em>Because it's a free country!<em>  
><strong>No it isn't!<strong>  
><em>Your ruining my moment.<em>  
><strong>That was the whole plan. <strong>  
><em>Why wasn't I there for the meeting? <em>  
><strong>I can't work like this! <strong>  
><em>Was there a script involved? <em>  
><strong>Are we really having this conversation? <strong>  
><em>Am I really wearing any underwear today? <em>  
><strong>...Yes <strong>  
><em>Which one? <em>  
><strong>The one with the rainbow jellybeans <strong>  
><em>Pervert! <em>  
><strong>Am not! <strong>  
><em>Are too!" <em>  
><strong>The pussy is getting shaved. <strong>  
><em>I'm against animal cruelty. <em>  
><strong>Hypocrite. <strong>  
><em>Belieber! <em>  
><strong>Don't talk about my man like that! I'm the biggest Belieber! <strong>  
><em>Which now makes me the heaver. <em>  
><strong>You can copyright these nuts! <strong>  
><em>They're already labeled. <em>  
><strong>I swear to Elmo that- <strong>  
><strong>Why to Elmo? <strong>  
><strong>Because he's gong to own our asses in due time. <strong>  
><em>So who is Justin going to own? <em>  
><strong>Fuck, Elmo is a pimp! He monopolizing the children shows. <strong>  
><em>Barney and Dora get ready to take a knee for the team! <em>  
><strong>More like get ready to take any position that has a fee. <strong>  
><em>I know Dora's revenue won't disappoint me. <em>  
><strong>Why's that. <strong>  
><em>Have you've ever seen what is really in her backpack?<em>  
>"Yet you cunningly play both sides of the fence." (Sorting Hat)<br>_I think there are four sides to this fence, which makes it a room so are in or out of the wall. The first being me. The second and third being your ego. And the fourth side I guess belongs to this Blythe person we keep on hearing about. _  
><strong>Why do you make things so complicated? <strong>  
><em>Because it's fun. <em>  
><strong>Like murder. <strong>  
><em>In your dreams.<em>  
><strong>That's what Freddy Krueger is for<strong>_._  
><em>Shut the fuck up you-<em>  
>"Gryffindor!"<p>

The sudden shout from the Sorting Hat silenced the voices in my head as I staggered my way towards a vacant seat at a Gryffindor table. I sat next to Jasper Burns, a quiet friend I made at Camp Ambrosia.  
>"Are you ready for tomorrow's performance?" I said, unfolding a crumpled piece of paper from my pants pocket.<br>"The better questions is are you?" Jasper said, biting his fingernails.  
>"We're ready.<p>

Today:  
>Take it off by Ke$ha<p>

Tomorrow:  
>Demonstrate Muggle sports<br>Dressing Room by Breathe Carolina  
>1Moves like Jagger (Masquerade) (colorful masks, dresses, ties, and suits)<br>2 Hey Ya - OutCast (circus) (Rainbow hair, leg/arm warmers, party gags, loosely fitting clothing, red nose)  
>3 Take over control (Geek)(tape on glasses, suspenders, high waters, pocket protector)<br>4 Party like a rockstar (Rockstar) (hair dye, punk style clothing, heavy or no makeup)  
>5. When I grow up (sport attire) (any sport jerseyuniform, shorts, sneakers)  
>6. Ghosts (dead) (fake blood, ripped clothing, potion to fade like a ghost, be flexible)<br>7. We found love Rihanna (toyland) (strings, stickers, fake price tags, be stiff then so spring to life)

Hufflepuff!"  
>"Ebony Capello."<br>"Gryffindor!"  
>"Morison Carver."<br>"Slythe..."

As soon as all the other first years were sorted into a house the tiles on the floor once agin disappeared as black and white static took over its surface.

* * *

><p><em>"Lets pick up the pace. This will motivate you guys." A red headed girl said, unplugging her headphones to her Ipod. A club remix of One Republic's Apologize blasted from it.<em>  
><em>"Can't resist the rhythm. Curse you." A tall blonde girl said, picking up speed.<em>  
><em>The seven students slowed down and sped up to playfully pass on the dancing bug for three minutes.<em>

* * *

><p>"We had some all-star Quidditch players with us today from the summer that played against other schools and won the championship! And although it may be heart wrenching to find our wacky teammates split up I'd like to acknowledge them as a whole." Madam Hooch said, making a two sided white screen appear.<br>Seven teens clad in dirty Quidditch uniforms stood in a row facing Madam Hooch.  
>"For sustaining the most injuries this summer give it up for Joker Jojo!"<br>"Thats my boo!"  
>"Get it Jojo."<br>"I'm still limping!" Jojo joked causing everyone to laugh.  
>"You can never get a ball away from her. She'll do stops, spins, and loopy loops to prevent you from scoring. Where's our Dizzy Izzy!"<br>"Thats out Izzy."  
>"She's always busy."<br>"Keep an eye on her in Quidditch and you will get dizzy."  
>"He swats away Bludgers as if they were flies; he is the reason why our Seeker joined this team. Give it up for the Man of Steele!"<br>"Your not off the hook yet; I can't believe I'm saying this, but thanks."  
>"Awwwwwwwwwww!"<br>"No one's holding up a cue card; stop making that noise!"  
>"She is the only blonde in the group and is a proud Beater; where's Blondie!"<br>"Barbie better watch out, Ken likes his girls rough."  
>"Forget that pink corvette, Blondie rides a Firebolt."<br>"This one now doesn't particularly like to land on the ground, but instead likes to plow into the stands of screaming fans. After twice knocking out the same professor, he was still committed to be apart of this Quidditch team even through the long detentions he was served. Give it up for Accelerator!"  
>"They really need to invent brakes for brooms."<br>"And an air bag!"  
>"What a coincidence you hit the same professor twice huh?"<br>"Weren't we suppose to have a quiz that day by that very same professor?"  
>"I plead the fifth."<br>"This girl puts the pep in most of your steps. When I said you had to do a lap around the entire school on foot she was the one dragging most of you to the finish line. This fiery redhead won't let you say, 'I can't'. Give it up for Caffeine!"  
>"No need for Duracell batteries, we have this energizing bunny!"<br>"On her worst days she only gives a hundred ten percent!"  
>"Whenever any one of us is in the infirmary she's the first to visit."<br>"There is a lot we can say about the last person. The first day of flying class she nearly gave me a heart attack when she stood on her moving broom instead of being seated. The reason she joined this team was to extract revenge on a certain Beater when a defected Bludger socked her square in the jaw while she was in class. There is no competition when the Snitch is released, but she also watches out more for people who even aren't on her team. Give it up for miss Watt!"  
>"Fast as lightening!"<br>"She can become very frightening."  
>"It's always a standstill when your after the Snitch. You do a great job at keeping the announcers, the audience, and players very entertained!"<br>"I have a challenge for you guys. One day next year I might scoop all seven of you up and pin you against Hogwarts' own Quidditch teams. Your not betraying your sorted team your just going to kick their ass!"

* * *

><p>"That was the worst accident ever."<p>

"Watt's face looked like Freddy Krueger's face."

"I don't think she's coming back for the rest of the summer."

The screen faded to black.

* * *

><p>"She my not be back for the summer but I know someone whose definitely going to be there for the school year. This is an insider: "You know my twin!"<p>

A flash of lightning hastily revealed my face on the black screen with a girl that mirrored the exact physical features I had ,except for the hair. Her hair was blonde with black stripes.


End file.
